so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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