4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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