Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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