Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
