so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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