So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
