He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize