I don't think brook has ever known best
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
