I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
how drunk are you?
Several
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
