I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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