I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
