I think I won the penis lottery.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize