After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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