I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
