I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
