Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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