they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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