Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
