So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
