What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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