Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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