Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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