Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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