He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
