just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
