I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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