wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
