eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
