New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
