I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
