does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
