we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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