Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
