ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
