just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
