If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.