That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
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Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
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You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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