why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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