I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize