I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
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He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
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he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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