You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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