His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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