Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Randomize