Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
