thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
