Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
