just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
