Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
