Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
