I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
