Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
