The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
