Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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