Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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