Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
