i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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