I think I died a long time ago.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize