May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
