my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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