when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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